Cunt of the week #5

I walked my daughter to preschool this morning and it was great. We chatted and looked at the newly blooming flowers and the changes in the trees. We took turns pushing my son in his pushchair and sometimes pushed with one hand each so we could hold hands and warm them up. Lovely. One of the fantastic parts of being a parent.

But then we had to start avoiding the copious amounts of dog turds littered about the path we take. The path runs around a park with housing on three sides and a large play area and a civic building which houses the preschool at the other end. In order to traverse this path we had to avoid no less than 20 separate piles of canine shite. We also passed 3 bright red bins for the disposal of said shit.

Now my daughter is a very aware child. It comes from having a daddy who might try and pinch her chips. She notices when there’s a mound of faeces in her way and she’s careful to avoid it. She also lets me know so I don’t plough through it with the buggy. But I find myself asking why she should need to be so aware of the fact that some careless dog owner is too fucking selfish to pick up after their dog? Why aren’t these idiots using the provided bins? They must realise their dog is crapping its pedigree chum all over the pavement, dogs don’t just let it fall out their arse while they stroll along!

I’ve also noticed a bizarre trend of some dog owners bagging up their pooch poo and hanging the bags on tree branches like they’re decorating the scummiest Christmas tree in the world. Why?!? Why not carry it to the fucking dog shit bin that’s 10 metres away?!? I’m utterly perplexed by this behavior! If I, as a parent of a child who uses nappies, started leaving bagged crap filled deposits outside Pets At Home, there would be uproar and probably a police investigation! So what makes it so acceptable for these cunts to leave shit smeared across the path outside my daughter’s preschool?

These selfish shit flingers infuriate me. They risk the health of all the children who use that park, the preschool and the football pitch all because they can’t be arsed to carry a small bag to pick up the product of their dogs’ back passages. They can’t be bothered to walk a few steps out of their way to put the diseased leavings of their hounds in a place provided for them. Utter utter cunts.

Please pick up your dog’s shit, keep Britain tidy, and don’t make me come round your house and shovel it through your letter box.


8 thoughts on “Cunt of the week #5

    • Very restrained of you! I don’t tend to edit my language (or at all really) as this is how I think. Hopefully there are no kids out there getting inspired to swear due to my ranting!

      • I come from a small council estate on the county side of the boundary next to a big dodgy council estate that is on the city side of the boundary.

        So you’d hear on the local bus the following sort of conversation : “Went down the fucking pub last night and got fucking rat-arsed. Was fucking great then nearly fucked myself getting off the bus, then couldn’t get the fucking key in the door and fucking woke the fucking neighbours up who were a bit fucked off… and so on and so forth and bla bla bla…”

        I don’t like that sort of swearing… But if I’m pissed off I will swear (very very rarely in front of the kids). My parents would use the word “bugger” – that was as strong as they got, but I remember getting a bollocking off my Dad for saying the word “twat”. hehehe

  1. This problem is everywhere. I wish my wee man was so aware! Admittedly once he actually managed to pick some up…eeeeew! I know as well that the culprits live on my street. I just wish I knew which one!!!!

  2. “I’ve also noticed a bizarre trend of some dog owners bagging up their pooch poo and hanging the bags on tree branches like they’re decorating the scummiest Christmas tree in the world.” – that’s so odd! Perhaps it’s a territorial thing? Maybe ask them next time you see someone do this?

  3. oh it irritates me so much. There is a narrow public footpath at the side of my son’s school, which leads to one of the two entrance gates to the school. It is covered in crap. Covered. And so it the pavement between that footpath and the main entrance along the road. It feels like dog owners are targeting these areas on purpose, because the pavements further long in the village, away from the school, are clean.

    • Hi, thanks for reading! It’s a terrible problem where I live because there are so many grass verges by the pavements. People seem to think it doesn’t matter if their dogs crap on the grass, they forget that kids would rather walk on grass than pavements. All the council seem willing to do though, is put up polite notices. Bloody infuriating!

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