In the midnight hour

How do ill children expect their parents to sleep? Oh, sorry, my mistake. They couldn’t care less if we do!

Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing but sympathy and pity for the little darlings when they’re under the weather. I’m sat here listening to the harsh cough and laboured breathing of my daughter as I type and I would give anything to make her feel better. I’d even take all the germs and make them my own, and I really hate being ill. I despise being ill. I’ve had more than my fair share of illness and it’s a trigger for my depression, so when I say I’d be ill in their place I mean in seriously.

However, my unending love for my children can be tested by their behavior when ill.

I’m sat on the sofa typing because I’m sleeping on the sofa tonight. Why? Because the kids are ill, that’s why! If I was to sleep in bed then my daughter’s fevered sleep ranting would disturb my son who’s also ill (and the lightest sleeper in the world) and my wife. So on nights like this we divide and conquer. Or at least divide…

Last night the boy kept my wife awake by coughing himself conscious at various points, whilst the girl attempted the same, with the added bonus of demanding a drink to ease her suffering at 3am and 5am. They then wanted to be up and watching Charlie and Lola at 6.15. I’m fairly certain the adults aren’t winning here…

The worst part of this is that the kids expect our sympathy and for us to meet their every need and whim whilst they’re sick. I can guarantee that when this bug finally catches up with us grown ups, we won’t be waited on hand and foot, and sure as hell no ones gonna cut us any slack!

Anyway, there’s a lull in the throaty snoring from my daughter’s room. I must try and sleep while I can so I can be awake enough to operate the Sky remote in a few short hours and kick off the morning’s CBeebies marathon in style. Sleep well dear reader.

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Ill health vs mental health

I hate being ill. Really really hate it. Even more than I hate Jamie Oliver. And I really hate Jamie Oliver.

I tend to get ill a fair amount, I just have a crappy immune system, but it more or less guarantees that if the kids are ill I’ll get it too. But one of the side effects of this is that I get depressed. Today I’ve barely wanted to interact with anyone and even went back to bed whilst the rugby was on and all that’s wrong with me is a sore throat, cold and headache!

When I was at university the first time I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and spent most of the day sleeping as I was constantly exhausted. I spent most of my twentieth birthday in bed rather than out celebrating with my friends. My previous birthday had lasted for a week! I was depressed, but there was little I could do to change what was happening and just had to wait for my body to sort itself out.

I’ve struggled with this since then, my mental health taking a downturn whenever my physical health does. At the moment it’s a daily battle. Since my cycling accident I’ve been in a dark place. I suffer with pain on a daily basis and my mood rises and falls in sync. Any additional impact on my health just makes the situation worse. I need to be healthy. I hate to think what I’d be like if I ever had a serious illness…