Songs of love

I was thinking about telling you how I got on at the doctor’s today, what with the depression, but then I discovered that this is the inaugural international day of happiness. Why would you want to hear about my mental health on such a day? So no, no talk of such things today. Instead I’ve decided to tell you about a few songs that make me think of my wife, my beloved, my one.

Tainted Love – Marilyn Manson

This is the song which got us together. We were sat in the university bar with a group of mutual friends, neither of us really knew the other only having met 2 weeks prior to this, and we’d been chatting casually across the table. When this video played on the tv above our table Sam swapped seats with my neighbour to get a better view. We spent the rest of the evening talking, holding hands and starting the rest of our lives as one.

Fun Lovin Criminals – we have all the time in the world

This was the first dance at our wedding. It’s a beautiful song and Huey Morgan’s vocals are fantastic. It didn’t hold any special meaning to us before, it was just a great song for a great day, but now it’ll always be a special song.

Green Day – last night on earth

This song always makes me think of Sam. The sentiments held in the lyrics are reflective of how I feel about her.

“You are the moonlight of my life”

She’s never been the sunlight in my life, but the light in the darkness. The world would be a dark and cold place without her, but she lights up the night and my life.

“With every breath that I am worth
Here on Earth
I’m sending all my love to you
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assured
That all my love’s for you”

The last song on the list is Glen Campbell’s Wichita lineman.

This song has one of the most wonderful song lyrics ever written, a line that reveals the true yearning you feel for the one you love. This more than any other lyric sums up how I feel about my wife:

“And I need you more than want you And I want you for all time”

Thanks for reading, I’ll bugger off now and stop being so soppy.


Keeping my kids out of football.

I was hoping to write a less serious post today after my lamentations earlier in the week, but watching the football has changed my mind.

I love football. I’ve supported Spurs since I was a young boy back in the 80s, I remember watching the Italia 90 world cup and every one since. I’ve stood in the terraces at lower league clubs, I’ve sat in the seats of premier league sides, I’ve watched the beautiful game played out in National stadiums, and I’ve seen more football matches on tv than I can remember.

I own an array of football shirts for the teams I have followed, mostly spurs, but also England and Ireland, my home nations, and various other teams from across the world I have at some time felt affection towards. I’ve also outfitted my daughter in a spurs kit and previously a baby gro and booties set. She looks gorgeous I’m them.

However, I’m left wondering whether or not I want to share my love of football with my children.

Last night a pub in Lyon where spurs fans were drinking was attacked by a group of 50 or so Lyon fans, just because they supported the visiting team. Flares were thrown, people injured, and Nazi salutes made toward the spurs fans, a team with a long history of Jewish support. Unfortunately, this isn’t even the first time this has happened. When playing against Roma in the same competition, spurs fans were attacked in a well coordinated strike by Roma’s notorious Ultras.

To be honest this puts me off travelling to games abroad, but worse puts me off passing my love for this game on to my children. I always dreamed of taking my kids to see matches, sitting together, explaining the rules and pointing out the players, cheering for our team and sharing an experience. I’m not sure that’s something I want to do anymore. Why should I encourage my children to support a game that provides an excuse for grown men to get together and kick the shit out of someone because they wear a different colour shirt? It’s beyond ridiculous.

I think that if I encourage them toward any sport now it will be rugby, a game full of on field violence, crunching tackles, punching and stamping rife in scrums and rucks, broken bones and bloody noses more or less guaranteed. But at least they manage to keep the violence on the field, between the players who get paid to partake in it, instead of sneaking it out of the stadia and into the pubs and streets.

What is love?

Valentine’s day is a magical time. The price of roses goes up threefold, restaurants become fully booked, shops are full of shitty looking teddy bears clutching equally shitty looking hearts to their poorly stitched chests.

It’s the same thing every year; one group of people look at all the tat and pine away for a real, or imaginary someone, who will provide them with love and romance the likes of which the world has never seen before and never will again, whilst drowning their sorrows in vast quantities of alcohol to make the day pass faster.
Another group spends far too much money on making grand romantic gestures, quite often leaving it late and having to rifle through the leftover crap on the supermarket/petrol station shelves that other valentines have ignored in favour of more extravagant items. They’re the ones rushing around panicking about what to get their loved one, as they must get them something, it’s expected after all, and they’ll be in the doghouse if it isn’t grand/cuddly/expensive/edible enough!

Wow. Talk about emotional blackmail. A whole day where you get to feel shit about love!

I’m lucky. I’m married to an amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman who doesn’t believe in Valentine’s day. We share the belief that you don’t need a special day to tell someone that you love them. You don’t need to buy a bunch of flowers and a cuddly toy either.

So what is love? Buying your chosen one a packet of milk bottle sweets because it’s their favourite. Sending them a text with a link to a funny picture. Letting them have a lie in.

Love is in all the little things that you don’t need to do, but that you choose to do, every day. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a grand gesture or a tiny thing, but if you choose to do something you don’t have to, that’s love.

Happy Valentine’s day everyone.